How to praise the kid correctly

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I`ve found an interesting article containing psychologist`s advice how to praise the child correctly. I`ve never thought the praise that comes from the heart and is given to reinforce the kid`s confidence in himself and the correctness of his actions can harm him. There are some rules to follow praising the kid.

How to praise the child correctly.

1. Praise the kid for specific actions. Try to praise him in such a way that he understands what he has done well and why it`s good in general. For example, if you praise him for a nice drawing, turn his attention to the details: «You`re such a good boy, a real artist!» The praise addressed to the kid should be adequate to the situation. It`s important to praise the action but not the personality. You can point out what difficult task the boy has performed: «It`s not easy to draw a bird.»

2. Reinforce the praise with non-verbal components: smile, hug, kiss. The kid should feel you`re pleased genuinely with his action. Besides, psychologists recomend to hug and kiss him not fewer than four times a day.

How to praise the kid correctly

3. Don`t compare the child with others! You`ve surely heard how undesirable it is to compare your kid with other children pointing out his mistakes. It`s the same with the praise. When you praise the child, don`t point out that he has done something better than Pete or Jack. Don`t foster in him the feeling of superiority.

4. You don`t need to praise the child for any trifle action, otherwise the sence of praising is lost. You risk that in some time your kid will wait for encouragement almost for each his action. In case he doesn`t get it, he`ll be confused and embarrassed.

5. While praising try to find out what the child does easily and what with difficulties. Don`t emphasize the natural abilities (strength, flexibility, etc.). On the contrary, pay attention to the child`s achievements gained with some efforts. Praise him when he tries and don`t give up.

6. Don`t promise your child to be a great artist, danser, singer, athlete. Think how he`ll feel in future if your great expectations aren`t realised. But it doesn`t mean you should tell him: «You won`t get success in this. You have no talents.»

7. If you praise the kid for some achievement, don`t tell him later that his success isn`t so great.

In conclusion… «If you don`t know what to praise your kid for, invent it!» — advises psychiatrist and psychotherapist V. Levi.

Comments (1)

It`s very useful. Thank you. I`ve found the answer on some of the questions.
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