Mother's Day Jokes and Humour for Adults and Kids

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We'd like you to spend Mother's Day hapilly and have a laugh at our funny jokes for adults and kids.

Mother's Day Jokes and Humour


Mother's Day Jokes and Humour for Adults and Kids

Cold Cream


Little Billy’s mom was rubbing moisturizing cream on her face as Billy walked in.

“Mommy, what are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m putting cold cream on my face,” she replied.

“Why, Mommy?” Billy asked.

“To make my skin look beautiful,” she said.

When she started wiping the cold cream off her face with a kleenex, Billy said, “Gosh, Mom, you're giving up already?"

Child Sent to Bed


A small boy is sent to bed by his mother…
[Five minutes later]
«Mom...»
«What?»
«I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a glass of water?»
«No. You had your chance. Lights out.»
[Five minutes later]
«Mom...»
«WHAT?»
«I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a glass of water??»
«I told you NO! If you ask again I'll have to spank you!!»
[Five minutes later]
«Mommm...»
«WHAT??!!»
«When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a glass of water?»

Mommy Ate It


For weeks a six-year-old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.

One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.

The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, «Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?»

Tommy burst into tears and confessed, «I think Mommy ate it!»

*** *** ***

If you feel tense and get a headache, follow the instructions on the bottle of aspirin: Take two tablets and keep away from children.

The Secret


A mom was teaching her 4 year old son to zip up his jacket.

“The secret,” she explained, “is getting the little straight piece all the way into the little slot before you pull up the zipper.”

Her son looked up at her and said, “Mom, why does that have to be a secret?”

Mothers Day With Toddlers


On Mothers Day, the mother of three little kids was celebrated with kisses, hugs, cheerios for breakfast in bed, dandelions from the yard, and crayon drawings.

As much as she loved it, all the activity made the house a bigger mess than usual. After a long day, she finally got the kids in bed. All she wanted to do was clean up and relax.

She put on an old gown from the back of the closet, went into the bathroom and coated her face with thick, white facial cream. Then she started washing her hair.

But the kids were not settling down. She could hear them talking, giggling, jumping on the beds.

Finally in exasperation she wrapped her head in a towel, ran into their bedroom and sternly told them to calm down and go to sleep.

After she left, she overheard the youngest one ask, “Who was that?”

Grandma on the Plane


For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren. She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo album of all nine of the children.

She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation on her grandchildren.

«Oh, I've done all the talking, and I'm so sorry. I know you certainly have something to say. Please, tell me… what do you think of my grandchildren?»

It's Time to go to School


One early morning, a lady went in to wake up her son. «Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!»
Son: «But why Mom? I don't want to go.»
Mom: «Give me two reasons why you don't want to go.»
Son: «Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!»
Mom: «Oh, that's no reason to not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.»
Son: «Give me two reasons why I should go to school.»
Mom: «Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!»

We have new Babies


For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.

One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.

The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, «Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?»

Tommy burst into tears and confessed, «I think Mommy ate it!»

Baby Brother


Little Johnny's new baby brother was screaming up a storm. He asked his mom, «Where'd we get him?»

His mother replied, «He came from heaven, Johnny.»

Johnny says, «WOW! I can see why they threw him out!»

The Fiance


After Leslie brought home her fiance to meet her parents, her father invited the young man into his study to find out more about him.

«What are your plans?» he asked Joseph.

«I'm a scholar of the Torah,» Joseph replied.

«Well, that's admirable,» Leslie's father replied. «But what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter?»

«I will study, and God will surely provide for us,» Joseph explained.

«And how will you buy her a nice engagement ring?»

«I will study hard, and God will provide for us.»

«And children?» asked the father. «How will you support children?»

«Don't worry, sir, God will provide,» replied the fiance.

The conversation continued in much the same fashion. After Joseph and Leslie had left, her mother asked her father what he found out.

The father answered, «Well, he has no job and no plans, but the good news is that he thinks I'm God.»

No Sale


«Is your mother home?» the salesman asked the small boy.

«Yeah, she's home,» the boy said, scooting over to let him past.

The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, «I thought you said your mother was home!?»

The kid replied, «She is; but this isn't where I live.»

The Worms


A father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol.

He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died.

«All right, son,» asked the father, «what does that show you?»

«Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms.»

Mother's Day Jokes and Humour for Adults and Kids

You'll find more exciting material here: mothers day craft ideas for kids.

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