Funny Story Jokes and Riddles about Animals for Kids of All Ages

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Good and funny jokes for kids not only entartain them but also stimulate the work of their minds, give the children a lot of interesting information. Jokes and riddles about animals will make kids of all ages laugh at unusual facts about their favorite animals, which will strengthen children's love to animals and nature itself.

Funny Story Jokes and Riddles about Animals


Funny Story Jokes and Riddles about Animals for Kids of All Ages

Dog Math


A farmer is wondering how many sheep he has in his field, so he asks his sheepdog to count them. The dog runs into the field, counts them, and then runs back to his master.
«So,» says the farmer. «How many sheep were there?»

«40,» replies the dog.

«How can there be 40?» exclaims the farmer. «I only bought 38!»

«I know,» says the dog. «But I rounded them up.»

Three Blind Mice


Once there were three blind mice who lived in a museum. One evening after the museum had closed and it was very quiet, the first mouse crawled into a huge suit of armor.

Before he knew it, he was lost.

«Help!» he shouted to his friends,«Help me make it though the knight!»

A frog at the bank


This frog walks into a bank to get a loan. He steps up to the counter and asks for an application from the clerk, Patty Wack.
«Hi, I'd like to fill out an application for a loan», said the frog.

Patty Wack replied, «Do you have any collateral for this loan; something to stand against your loan?»

The frog replied, «All I have is this statue of a unicorn.»

«Well, I don't know,» said Patty Wack, «I'll have to ask the manager about this.»

Patty Wack goes to see the bank manager.

The bank manager looks at the statue and replies: «Knick Knack, Patty Wack. Give the frog a loan.»

Flying kitten


A pastor had a kitten that climbed up a tree in his backyard and then was afraid to come down. The pastor coaxed, offered warm milk, etc. The kitty would not come down. The tree was not sturdy enough to climb, so the pastor decided that if he tied a rope to his car and drove away so that the tree bent down, he could then reach up and get the kitten. He didall this, checking his progress in the car frequently, then figured if he went just a little bit further, the tree would be bent sufficiently for him to reach the kitten. But as he moved a little further forward… the rope broke.

The tree went «boing!» and the kitten instantly sailed through the air — out of sight. The pastor felt terrible. He walked all over the neighborhood asking people if they'd seen a little kitten. Nobody had seen a stray kitten.

So, he prayed, «Lord, I just commit this kitten to your keeping,» and went on about his business.

A few days later he was at the grocery store, and met one of his church members. He happened to look into her shopping cart and was amazed to see cat food. Now this woman was a cat hater and everyone knew it, so he asked her, «Why are you buying cat food when you hate cats so much?»

She replied, «You won't believe this,» and told him how her little girl had been begging her for a cat, but she kept refusing. Then a few days before, the child had begged again, so the Mom finally told her little girl, «Well, if God gives you a cat, I'll let you keep it.» She told the pastor, «I watched my child go out in the yard, get on her knees, and ask God for a cat. And really, Pastor, you won't believe this, but I saw it with my own eyes. A kitten suddenly came flying out of the blue sky, with its paws spread out, and landed right in front of her.»

How to Wash the Cat


Thoroughly clean the toilet. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.

In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape).

Caution!!!

Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find.

Flush the toilet three or four times.

Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.

Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.

Sincerely,
The DOG

Penguins and the zoo


A man is driving down the freeway with his two pet penguins when he gets pulled over by a cop for speeding. After the cop hands over the speeding ticket to the driver, he notices the 2 penguins. The cop informs the driver that he must take the penguins to the zoo. The driver agrees to do so.

Two months later, the same man is pulled over by the same cop for speeding. The cop notices the penguins again only now they are wearing sun glasses and eating ice cream.

The cop says, «I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.»

The man responds, «I did take them to the zoo, now I'm taking them to the beach.»

Puma Poetry


There once was a man from Yuma,
Who told an elephant joke to a puma,
Now his body lies,
Under the hot desert skies,
For the puma had no sense of huma.

The old rooster


A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, «OK old guy, time for you to retire.»

The old rooster replies, «Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?»

The young rooster says, «Beat it. You are washed up and I am taking over.»

The old rooster says, «I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.»

The young rooster laughs. «You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start.»

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.

He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast.

The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs his shotgun and — BOOM — he blows the young rooster to bits.

The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, «Darn. Third gay rooster I bought this month.»

The rabbit and the snake


A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are, so they decide to feel each other.

The rabbit says, «You feel me first.» The snake says okay, and he starts feeling the rabbit.

He says, «Well, you have fur all over, and a little cotton tail, and two long ears, and big back feet...»

The rabbit says, «I know! I'm a rabbit! Yippee!» Then the rabbit feels the snake.
He says, «Okay, you're long and thin, and slimy all over, and there's a little forked tongue...»

The snake says, «Oh no!» " I'm a lawyer."

The Three Bears


It's a sunny morning in a big forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty! «Who's been eating my porridge!» he squeaks.

Daddy Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It is also empty! «Who's been eating my porridge?» he roars.

Mommy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and screams, «For gosh sakes, how many times do we have to go through this crap? I haven't made the porridge yet!»

Talking Parrot


One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher.

Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid — the parrot was his at last!

As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the Auctioneer, «I sure hope this parrot can talk. I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can't talk!»

«Don't worry.» said the Auctioneer, «He can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you?»

Literate chickens


A pair of chickens walk into a public library, find the librarian and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens want three books, and promptly gives them some. Without further ado, the chickens walk out.

Around midday, the two chickens are back and looking quite annoyed. One leans over to the librarian and says,' Buk Buk BuKKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens want another three books and promptly gives them some more. The chickens leave as before.

About an hour later the two birds march back in, approach the librarian, looking very angry now and nearly shouting, 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!'

The librarian is now starting to get worried about where all her stock is going. She decides to give them more books but also to follow them and find out what's happening.

She follows them out of the library, out of town, and into to a park. She hides behind a tree, not wanting to be seen.

She sees the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog keeps commenting, «Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit…

Funny Story Jokes and Riddles about Animals for Kids of All Ages

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